Halloween 2011 is gone, but now we can look ahead to Halloween 2012! We at Master Ninja have already researched what the top 5 costumes for 2012 will be!
1.) As the Mayan Calendar comes to the end of its cycle, chaos will reign and the dead will rise. This is a problem for everyone… except the vacillating Republican Party, who will finally have a candidate for 2012 (and a great costume idea) – Zombie Ronald Reagan!
2) The catastrophic earthquakes, predicted accurately by the Mayans (who did not have indoor plumbing or computers, but were real whizzes with calendars) decimate California, leaving great crevices in the ground. But those crevices soon erupt with our next 2012 costume idea, Carnivorous Mole People!
3) Don’t worry – this is good news for celebuttantes like the Kardashians or Paris Hilton. They will soon be the unwilling brides of our third costume idea – The King of the Carnivorous Mole People! (Sadly, Kim Kardashians marriage to the King of the Carnivorous Mole People will also end after 72 days, when the King of the Carnivorous Mole People messily devours her.)
4) Dead gods will rise as the earth opens up to consume humanity, leading to our fourth costume idea, Zombie Ur-Zababa, Zombie God-King of the Sumerians! (People love zombie costumes.)
5) As the world crumbles around us, humanity will finally and tragically embrace the wisdom of their ancestors, culminating in our fifth and final costume idea, Sexy Ancient Mayan.
Hopefully, this will prepare you for Halloween 2012, as well as the doom and destruction that lay over our horizon. Happy Halloween!